I’m a somewhat complicated story but suppose I can start it when I reportedly carried a satchel of some sort in the first grade trying to come off as a wee intellectual. I think I can vaguely recall it being olive green vinyl. Seems like my mother got it for me in Birmingham or Anniston in the fall of 1972 where they’d carried my Dad after he’d be shot to pieces. Long story. He made it. Left eye didn’t. He had to wear this body cast contraption with his left arm held out in front of him to heal. He’d ducked two shotgun blasts coming from the front of his truck, pulling a trailer holding an ailing cow, but just couldn’t get that left arm clear. He’d already taken one from behind as he ran for the truck. #8 in a 12-gauge. Carried a few pellets in him from that day forward. I truly believe I know so much about Watergate from him being around the house a good bit as he healed up. The hearings would be on and Ralph HATED pretty much everything about the whole Nixon crowd.

I’m a first-generation college kid and was fortunate that my old daddy helped me get through school. I’m again blessed in that I’m able to use the post-9/11 GI Bill (Thanks, Jim Webb and …!) to do some more graduate work. I view that support, even if fairly earned, as something which obligates me to do things in the public interest. My folks were children of the Depression and then World War II. Dad, a very late 23 model, got in late and was Navy stationed stateside. His older brothers did their part. One in particular I believe saw some heavy action. At least that was my understanding. My mother was born in 1927. If I recall the story correctly, she wound up in Oak Ridge working in a concession shop by the time the war was over. Two of her sisters married GIs and moved all over the place. Her brothers also moved away. The way the New Deal and World War II changed things for just the generation before me is something I often ponder on. My mother’s family was probably a little better off but neither came from money. Yeoman farmer stock I suppose. My Dad’s youngest sister was very good to me. I miss her and can’t express how helpful she was in getting me past a few ‘stuck places.’

Since paid work often is how people are viewed, I’ve been a teacher, a country lawyer, an Infantryman – mostly Chairborne, a political operative oriented towards grassroots organizing, a grocery store (a Piggly Wiggly no less) clerk, and a farmhand. As for unpaid work, I work on some old homes trying to get them back into generally serviceable use. And I rabble rouse, critique, tilt at windmills, etc. The former helps me earn my keep but I feel quite fortunate to feel connected to work I generally enjoy. The latter might be for many reasons. I may just like scrapping. However, I sure hope I’m generally ‘punching up.’ While I believe Marx’s idea on the alienation of labor holds up, I’ve been blessed to find meaning in most of the work I’ve done. With a few exceptions I suppose, I’ve usually had a good reputation of being a hard worker. I can usually figure out how to do stuff. Being considered authentic and fair is also what I’m aiming for.

Although I’m occasionally mislabeled as a ‘liberal,’ I’m rather a blend of several ideologies. An ‘ideological irregular’ is a label I rather like. Russell Kirk supposedly said “conservatism is the negation of ideology.” Sign me up! I’ve increasingly become interested in the old-school cautious conservatism that’s respectful of limits and the local. See Peter Viereck, Garry Wills, Michael Oakeshott, etc. The Agrarian ideal such as what was advanced by the Fugitive Poets (no, I’m hardly an unreconstructed rebel) and Thomas Jefferson pushed, with Wendell Berry among those carrying forward the tradition, is attractive to me. Christopher Lasch is a voice with much to offer. Anarcho-syndicalism is another approach I often seem to favor even if I’m not especially hostile to at least the idea of a state. I certainly find facets of anarchism (disinclined to the hierarchical) attractive. I admittedly like much Marx and neo-Marxism. A Gramsci stan given how he fits into adult education. Areas Ivan Illich explored seem solid. I truly think everyone needs to read some Marx because the man, like Foucault and a few others, was able to see things on a different plane than others. Reading Marx will ‘stretch your mind and it’ll never return to its original dimension.’ (That’s Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. – or at least close enough to how he worded it.) One of the reasons I don’t like being labeled as ‘liberal’ is that I often believe powerful interests can usually capture the state and that at least some liberals have too positive a view of people. For the record, I believe that people can be both awesome and awful. I also believe liberalism’s faith in reforms or restraints, as well as individual rights, insufficient for at least some large structural struggles.

I’m at least somewhat worried about the state of politics in our nation and especially my home state of Alabama. Organized money and power seem to run things and I’m not so sure there’s much hope for a shift – at least short of a radical shift if a collapse and crisis come along. I’ve mostly given up on electoral politics but do think there’s value in organizing, education, etc. While I value the informal and tend to favor a ‘bottom-up’ approach, I’ll admit to being somewhat jealous of the ‘conservative’ and ‘free market’ infrastructure where there’s seemingly so much money and other support available for their foot soldiers all the way up to their ‘scholars’ or infotainer types.

Journalism and media is another area where we’re in a mess. Part of this effort to maintain a site with blog posting when able is to weigh in on some of the challenges and problems. I believe a citizen, especially if they’ve been given the opportunity to learn and study some things, has a duty to question and critique the society in which they live. I’m into the idea of class solidarity and seem to favor a form of critical theory as well. While I do try to punch up, I try to remember that some bourgeois enablers and comforters of powerful forces might not have much choice or see things as I do. Thus, I try to not strip the bark off them until they show they’re being willfully ignorant or a total sell-out. That sympathy especially applies to some in the non-profit world as I think some are motivated by the right reasons and might just be unaware of how they legitimate or ignore structural conditions contributing to whatever cause or causes they’re tackling. Many non-profits fret over losing their tax statuses and angering funding sources so they step carefully. If they can be nudged, then maybe that’s the best we can hope for.

Flawed and somewhat scarred, several long stories there, I’ve done a fair amount of healing and growing. Tons of work. Some good fortune too as to multiple professionals at the VA I’ve worked with. And at the same time, like many things in my life, I’ve probably done most of the wandering about and trying to locate solid understanding just on my own initiative. I sure hope I’m generally doing what I need to do. I don’t have any magic recipes or such to share. But I am willing to share what seems to have helped me get past some stuff I was getting hung up on should anyone be struggling with ‘adverse childhood experiences’ or anything similar. For me, it was just one thing after the other growing up. Tough situations aplenty. My mother died from multiple myeloma back in March of 1979 when I was 13. And then I started being bounced from pillar to post for the next few years. Things were different back then and yet I now know at least some of what I carried out of childhood as a strategy or approach to keep going wound up being a real problem when it came to being a more healthy human adult. And sure, I often wish I had a rewind button. But we don’t.

I’m happily married with a grown son and stepdaughter. A few good friends, one in particular from back when we were pups actually, I suppose. We’ve two dogs and two cats in the house. They’ve about destroyed the place. I’m at the point in my life where if I can keep up a little garden, have access to enough decent tools, and do moderately productive/enjoyable work then I’m pretty much good to go. I was once really into whitewater kayaking, bowhunting, and pretty much anything which could keep me outside. I might eventually take those pursuits, or something similar, back up. For instance, I surely would love to one day do some backpacking out west and up east. My more recent interest in old hand tools and learning more ‘old-school’ ways of working wood and other material may, however, be something my more ‘seasoned’ body can handle. The years and miles are starting to add up. I’m also planning to eventually try to fix up an old cargo trailer I use for hauling tools around into some sort of bugout, expedition contraption. No, I’m not a prepper. I might try to use the build for responding to some disasters or moving around on some do-gooder projects.